Bit of UP and DOWN

yesterday...I tryed to fast but fail coz I went out ....

all around me were food

so I ate a plate of chicken rice :(

so..today I ate a small bowl of steam boat and some biscuit with a glass of low fat milk

again I dont think i can stay untill tomorrow coz even right now i felt hungry :(

GOOD LUCK to my self~

A boring day

I dont know what to write 

my mother keep talking to me...annoying!

my mind go blank coz of that

The weather also very hot 

I hope for the rain today

so they can give me some cold 

yea..

ooowwwhh...forget one thing ...

my jeans bit loose <3

XOXO

Binge Day :( I wish I did not eat today

Yea..I cant control anymore..everyone keep asking me to eat.

EVERYONE

few minutes later

they all staring at me like I there are a zombie in beside them

yea..you asking me then I do it

and

I cant stop..

I rush to the bathroom about every plate I ate

You know what...it have been about 8 days  I dont puke my self

Hell yea..it easy now..

I feel dizzy..I cant sleep tonight coz when I lie down on my bed I can feel theres some thing in my stomach...

some thing that should not be there,

I worry about tomorrow,what will happen ?

Did I gain ?

1kg? 2kg? or 3kg?

owh..I wanna cry right now..

tomorrow please dont ask me to eat anymore 

I HATE IT !

I want this really bad right now!!!

that THING

WHY on earth must that thing be broken now!
Dont lie to me PLEASE!
You dont know how hard it was to be on this weight AND YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!

I dont know why,
this morning I weight my self  I did not loss any thing just he same like yesterday,
but in the evening I step on it again an I Gain about 1kg
WHAT THE HELL
I dont ate anything
How can that possible?
Then I ask all of my family to step on it also the result~

My mum also GAIN
My Dad also
even my little sister that always stay skinny GAIN some weight
OMG
Im in the middle of WAR between FATS and BONES
oh God please help me!

I wanted to say thank you to all of my readers even they are just few of people ...:)
I LOVE all of them!